Mama, give yourself some Self-Care this Mother’s Day! - Guest post with Isobel Mary Champion, Parenting Coach

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Why Self-Care matters for parents

 Isobel Mary Champion - Parent Coach
When you are exhausted, burnt-out, distracted or overwhelmed it is very hard to be a calm, happy, positive parent. Not only do you cease to be a good role model for your child, and cease to be fully able give them the kind of attention that they need to feel secure and happy in themselves, you also become more likely to become frustrated and lose your temper.

 

Sometimes you will be having a bad day, be stressed, tired, hungry or ill, and you may not be at your best. Equally, sometimes your child be having a bad day, be stressed, tired, hungry or ill, and they may not be at their best. Both of these situations are OK and will happen in all families on a regular basis! But by making time for Self-Care you will be doing your best to avoid those situations where you feel that you have lost the ability to parent effectively.

 “Put on your own oxygen mask first”

 This is basically the greatest parenting metaphor of all time (borrowed from airline emergency procedures cards if you haven’t recognized it yet!). But what does it mean? Essentially this is a self-care or mindfulness mantra similar to the popular “You cannot pour from an empty cup”- and it means that to parent effectively you need to make sure to look after yourself first. So, make sure to give yourself some Self-Care time this Mother’s Day (and check out the special offer at the end of this post!).

Do not feel guilty about needing some Self-Care time

Most parents feel extremely guilty about taking some time to focus on themselves (even when their child is sleeping or at school!), but parents need a little Me-Time more than anybody! You are not a bad parent for taking some time to be mindful of your own needs, feelings, and sense of well-being. Doing this regularly will make you calmer, happier, more positive, and therefore better able to respond effectively to your child’s needs.

Schedule your Self-Care time

It won’t always work out, but at least if you schedule it in regularly, you should get your bit of Self-Care time at least some of the time! This will vary depending on the age of your child, but aim for at least half an hour a day on weekdays, and a full morning, afternoon or evening at the weekends. It will help your family to accept this if it is at roughly the same time each day - consistency is always good with small children.

Share the load – get yourself some help!

You do not need to take responsibility for the childcare and running your home 100% of the time! Nobody expects this from you! Women have always raised their children in communities, and the “team around the child” (as it is known in Early Years education) actually enriches the life of the child. If you think friends, family members, neighbours or child carers will think badly of you for asking for a few hours help each week, then you are thinking too much! This is the norm and has been so for centuries of human evolution.

What should I do with my Self-Care time?

Please do not use your precious free time to clean the bathroom or collect the dry cleaning! Schedule your Self-Care time, and use for a something that makes you feel good, a mindfulness activity, or a pastime that you used to enjoy in your pre-parenting days, or have always wanted to try! Avoid scrolling through your phone, or spending too much time on social media. Choose an activity that will fill your senses: see, hear, taste, touch and smell.

Accept that your partner needs Self-Care too!

Everybody needs regular Me-Time to be able to stay positive and feel good about themselves. It can be tricky for any parent to justify taking time for Self-Care, but even more so in situations where one parent goes out to work, while the other takes the responsibility for most of the childcare. But both parents need regular Self-Care time to enable them to parent effectively, and feel happy, calm and fulfilled in themselves, and in their relationships. Allow your partner some regular, guilt-free, Self-Care time too!

Want to find out more? Visit my website www.isobelmarychampion.com and follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @isobelmaryc – or simply get in touch, I would love to hear from you! Why not gift yourself (or a Mama you know) my £40.00 Mother’s Day Coaching Gift Voucher and enjoy a one hour 1:1 coaching session, one month follow-up support, one Parent Wellness session, a special Mother’s Day Gift Bundle PLUS a free PDF copy of my NEW Parent Self-Care Diary when you quote VOUWILD22 when making your purchase! Visit my website or get in touch to find out more!

 


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